Loren pooped in the tub tonight. I figured I should just come out and say that. He was standing up and just, well, bombs away. Or torpedoes away as was the case.
This was not discussed in any of the parenting books. Chapter Three, What to do when your toddler poops in the bath tub. That would have been helpful tonight. The scene inside our tiny bathroom was not unlike the BabyRuth-in-the-pool scene in Caddyshack – just mass hysteria.
There are a few questions you find yourself pondering after such an occurrence. I’ve never had reason to ask these questions before. What do we do with the baby we just pulled out of poop-infested waters? Does he need another bath? How fast do poop particles dilute themselves in water? Do we need to wash his bath towel? Is the poop dissolving? Do we have to scoop it out before draining the water? Can poop go down a tub drain? What type of cleaning agent is needed to clean poop out of a shower? Can you believe he just pooped in the tub???
I walked away from the incident relieved on one account: Being a stay-at-home parent comes with the upside of knowing you will never shower first in the morning. You might not even shower at all.
The rest of this post isn’t about poop. It is, in fact, far more appetizing.
No, the rest of this post is about a long trip to the playground, Loren playing with a lot of other kids while mostly forgetting I existed, Loren playing with a lot of mulch…
And Loren being all around adorable and cool at the same time:
It’s also a post about that all important night cap at the end of a long day, and how my 29th birthday brought with it a few major improvements to that ritual.
It’s a post about my new King Cube Ice Trays, that make big two-inch squared slow melting ice cubes (in super easy to use silicon trays) that are just perfect for my new bottle of 1792 Ridgemont Reserve Bourbon.
Seriously, if you’re looking for a gift for your man you could do a lot worse than something that gives him the right kind of ice for his night cap.
But also, Loren pooped in the tub.by